What the hell am I doing?!?!?!...

...Were the words that I REPEATEDLY thought as I waited in the international terminal at Boston Logan, as I flew over the Atlantic Ocean, as I waited out my four-hour layover in London Heathrow, as I refueled in Riyadh, as I landed in Dammam, and as I type this, the initial entry to my first blog. A young African American man from Richardson, TX, a suburb of Dallas, has traveled to a destination that is on the other side of the Prime Meridian. To see the approximate distance, click here. An additional 225 miles should be added from Riyadh to Dammam.

No EXCUSES. I was nervous. As I looked out of my plane window, I saw the desert. It did not look harsh or unforgiving. It looked calm, dark but peaceful. Blood drained from my face, and my fingertips felt numb as I landed in Dammam, exited the plane, and came upon the immigration line in the Dammam Airport. I thought, “Oh God, I do not want to go to a Saudi Arabian jail!” A totally irrational thought. I had all my documents in order and nothing illegal on me. Why was I so worried about jail? Probably because of what I’d heard or seen on TV, whether it was the news or a movie. I ASSUMED that I would be given a hard time because of the color of my passport. An immigration official reviewed my paperwork, took my fingerprints and picture, and told me, “Welcome to Saudi Arabia.” It’s official. For the next two years, I’ll be living in a country, that is seven hours ahead of the East Coast of America, as a foreigner. The best way to describe the look on my face ----> 0_o

So, without any further delay, on to the questions most people I have encountered ask me: “Why are you doing this?” As uncomplicated a question that is, it has a complicated answer. I am not where I expected to be in Life. Am I appreciative of the people and experiences I’ve had in my life? ABSOLUTELY! I thank God everyday for all that has happened in my life thus far. We all know that we have a finite amount of time on this Earth, plane of existence, or whatever you want to call it. We live, and then we die. For me it’s November 6, 1981-????. But the most important part of your life is the dash. What is that dash comprised of? What have you done with your life, and are your happy with the results? Remember that you can only change certain circumstances. Focus on those. That is what I’m doing. A cataclysmic event changed my life in 2001. The passing of my mother, changed me. This event was something I never thought about. I felt powerless, confused, and without direction. I was able to slowly build myself back up with friends, family and, of course, God. I believe myself to be a good man. A man who has gone through a trial or two in his life. A man who has take Life’s numerous bumps and blows. I don’t think of myself as someone who’s had it hard. Just a man that has been tested. I’ve failed miserably on some tests. And I’ve beasted some tests. Yes, beasted. That means I did exceedingly well. Why didn’t I just say that? It’s my blog, that’s why. I’ll say what I want. But I digress… degrease :-) The point is, I’m not complaining about my current situation. Hell, I’m in a position to be a part of something unique and few can say they’ve experienced. Travel to the Middle East, VOLUNTARILY, and be an “ambassador” of the US. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not in The Middle East because my mother died. I’ve experienced how an exceptional incident can alter one’s perspective and thought process. I’m initiating another alteration of my perspective. “There are other ways to take control of your life,” one might say. That’s true, but this is my path. Some may find my decisions and actions to be unnerving. If that’s what they think, then so be it. But I’m living my life, my way.

I’ve thought about living overseas for years! It’s something I’ve always believe Americans should do for several reasons. A few of them are: 1) There are plenty of people that have never been outside of the city they were born in. Don’t limit yourself. Travel. Learn. Live. Love… or hate. Whatever. You won’t know how you truly feel about something until you get out of your own backyard. 2) A good portion of the world thinks that we, Americans, are pretentious. We’re bunch of know-it-alls that don’t know anything. I’ve not only heard this from pundits on the news, but actual conversations with people from other countries that were visiting America. Traveling shows our willingness to reach out, interact, and learn from people of different cultures and religions on their home turf. Learning and humility are never bad things. 3) You’re able to speak intelligently about issues that affect the entire world, not just about when Brett Favre will retire (soon, I hope). 4) Putting yourself in a vulnerable state will help strengthen areas of your life that have never been challenged before, reinforce your convictions and give yourself a confidence that you probably never felt before. In a country whose dominate, and I do mean dominate, religion is Islam, my Christian beliefs have already been fortified.

Why Saudi Arabia? Like most people, I’ve often thought about traveling overseas to Europe, Africa, Australia or Asia. 1) When I was presented with the opportunity to apply for this fellowship, I initially thought, “No thanks.” But then I thought, “Why should I go to places everyone wants to go? There’s nothing wrong with those places it’s just that I should think about doing something new, something different, something outside the norm.” 2) It is an incredible opportunity to learn about something I truly am ignorant about, the customs, cultures, and convictions of the people in the Middle East. Side Note: As I type this, the muezzin is making his call for prayer. Friday services and five times a day he calls out to inform Muslims that it is prayer time. Yeah, the weekends are on Thursday and Friday. Back to my point, this developing country has a lot to teach me. As ironic as it may sound, I came here, not so much to teach, but to be taught. The research I did led me to believe I could have an incredible experience here. Thus far, that has held true. Everyone I’ve encountered here has been helpful and friendly. I’ll elaborate more at a later time. 3) The chance for travel would be plentiful. The Middle East is centrally located to several destinations that I desire to visit. The places I mentioned before, and many others, are all reasonable distances from Saudi Arabia. My greatest opportunity to travel will be during the summer vacation but I’ll still travel as often as I can until then. I hope to meet many of my friends overseas too! If you’re interested in meeting up somewhere, let me know! 4) I would be an inaugural Harvard Fellow. That’s something that sparked my interest. This fed into my ideas of being a trailblazer. The Harvard name was attached to it so I knew I would be taken care of. That has been proven true as well. 5) This was an opportunity to meet, interact, and visit people and places I only knew about through informal conversations with people, CNN, Fox News, Google, and Wikipedia.

Why now? I am single, with no children. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t have done this if I wasn’t married with kids. But it would have been much more difficult. I’m hoping to use this as a bridge between my Masters programs and a doctorate in Mathematics Education *crosses fingers*. I’ve NEVER had to use a passport to enter a country. I’ve been to the Bahamas, but I didn’t need a passport to visit Nassau. Yes, my first true international experience, minus my layover in London, is taking place in Saudi Arabia.

So, to answer the question posed in title of this post, I am doing something that will help me grow as a person. I am doing something that will leave a lasting impact on the rest of my life. I am doing something that I’ve always wanted to do, but never had the resources to complete. I am doing something that I encourage everyone that reads this blog to do: take a chance.

Thank you for taking time to read this. Please post any comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, or recommendations. Share this blog with your friends and on your facebook!! To view some of my pics of The Kingdom, please visit my facebook page, here. If you're not one of my friends just add me and let me know who you are!

Next post, insha’Allah (God willing): The Crib, The Roommate, The Car, The Institution, The Metric, The Funds, The Grub, annnnnnnd The Water Closet. :-D

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson