So, here I am, in the country (i.e. farmland, 10 miles to the nearest CVS) part of Maryland (I didn't even know that Maryland had a country part). But, this is where my sister and her family are located, so this is where I am. I'm pretty nervous about my move to Sofia. Oh yeah, I didn't tell y'all? I'm moving to Bulgaria. You know, Eastern Europe, that country that borders Turkey, Greece, Macedonia, and Serbia. No? Well, you'll soon be introduced to it as it will be my new home.
Five years in the Middle East and I have a lifetime of memories and lifelong friends. Now, it's time to create more memories and make more friends. But I'm not even there yet. It's not even time to board the plane. It's not even time to check in. The movers haven't even come by to pick up my stuff. I've got a few more days before all this goes down. I've tried to keep busy with these remaining days in America mostly by spending time with friends and family. For the most part, it's covered up the feeling I get every time I travel. Yes, I feel nervous EVERY TIME I travel. The type of nervous that makes you feel like your heart wants to jump out of your chest. The type of nervous that gives you sweaty palms. Even after visiting 42 countries, I still get nervous. It's not about the actual travel part, I'm not afraid to fly or any anything like that. It's about the newness of it all. Amount other things, it's about how I'm perceived as a black man in a country that probably has not had a lot of interactions with people from the African Diaspora. But the best part is, I always overcome my nervousness pretty much as soon as the plane lands. Yes, I've moved to a different country before and it's a headache. Every. Single. Time. But, it's part of the life I love. Forms. Visas. Signatures. Passport pictures. International health insurance. Stool samples (Ugh, I know, TMI, but it's too late now). Arm rest battles on planes. Finding your luggage when you thought it was lost. Losing your iPad (twice). Accidentally traveling to the wrong country (how the hell does that happen? Not so long story. Ask me about it). Eating stinky tofu. Eating crocodile. Climbing Kilimanjaro. So on and so forth. Travel makes me come alive. I love it. There's no getting around it. I'd rather smell the new pages in my passport, or a whole new passport, than a new car. That should be a cologne,"New Passport Smell".*copyrights it*
So back to the ORIGINAL purpose of this post, I'm nervous any time I travel but this is a special kind of nervousness. I've felt it a few times before: moved to Atlanta in 1999, moved to Boston in 2007, moved to Saudi Arabia in 2010, and move to Kuwait in 2012. Now, this will be my fifth move in 16 years. One may ask, "What are you looking for?" Well, that's simple. I'm looking for that feeling you get every time you have a new, awesome experience. Having a baby kangaroo eating out of the palm of my hand in Australia, or eating whale in Iceland, or taking pictures of the Aurora Borealis in the Arctic Circle, or sharing a common life experience with mates from Wales while you're both visiting Cambodia. These are examples of times where I get that feeling. No, not the feeling Marvin Gaye is talking about haha. The feeling of exposure to a truth you never knew existed. The truth that the world is meant to be traveled. The truth that people are meant to overcome obstacles together to bring them closer to each other dispite the actual physical distance. The truth that you will never be the same person again. One of my math professors at Morehouse College often told his classes, "You can never step in the same river twice."
This post was supposed to be about me preparing to move and overcoming my fears. Yet, it's changed in to rambling about whale blubber, smelling offical government identification, awkward health tests, and sticking your feet in water. This is who I am and how I write. Tangents. It's not just about white guys on a beach. LOL *snorts* I hope you enjoy this blog in its new form (Probably not its final form but so be it). Because the simple fact is that I'll be using it, and you, to vent, share, and explore. May The Force be with you.
